KUTRA NI JEM

Chandu e teni ofis ma teni sekretari ne kutari ni stayl thi chodi.
ghare teni wife : aaj to thakela lago chho ofis ma bahu kam lage chhe.
chandu : ha yar aaj to kutara ni jem kam karyu chhe. !!!

ledi veitar

Ek mans restorant ma gayo,
tya ek lediz veitar odar leva aavi.
manase dudh no order aapyo etle tarat j veitar e teni bra kholine ek boblu manas na modha ma muki didhu.
......
manase vicharyu ke he bhagvan saru thayu ke me pani no order noto aapyo...

kondom

Ek var ek bhai kemist ni dukane kondom leva gaya.
sels garl e te ne puchhyu  : shu hu map leva mate  tamaro land hathma lau.
pela e ha padi,
sels garl land hathma lai ne teni sathi ne boli : midiyam saiz aap...are ek minit moti saiz aapo....are bhenchod koi mane nepkin aapo...!!!

GERANTI

Ek var ek kalab ma  tina ane mina jents toilet ma pesab karva ghusi gaya.
tya ek manas ne pesab karta joyo . te manas no land dekhato hato. parantu modhu dekhatu notu.
tina : hu geranti thi kahu chhu ke aa manas maro pati nathi.
mina : hu geranti thi kahu chhu ke aa manas aa kalab no membar nathi.

PLEN

Chadu ek var plen ma musafari karato hato.
tene sandash lagi  pan ekpan toilat khali na hatu.
er hostesh : ek kam karo sir tame aa lediz toilet ma jav hu bahar ubhi chhu. chinta n karo.
chandu andar jaine sandash kari lidhu . tya bajuma 3-4 swich joi tene ek swich dabavi to niche thi garam pani aavyu ane chandu ni gand dhovai gayi.
biji swich chalu kari to nichethi garam hava aavi ane gand sukai gayi.
triji swich chalu kari to nichethi ek paf aavyu ane gand upar pavdar lagi gayo.
chandu ne to maja padi gai. chandu e chothi swich dabavi to .....
chandu bhan ma aavyo to ek hospital ma hato ane bajuma ek narsh hati.
chandu kahe hu ahi kem aavi gayo. hu plan ma hato ane me chothi swich dabavi etlu j yad chhe pachhi shu thayu.
narsh : e chothi swich lediz na sitha kapvana otometic mashin ni hati.... tamaru kapai gayu....

MUTHIYA

Ek var ek sajjan manas motar ma besi jangal mathi pasar thai rahyo hato.
tya achanak ek daku aavi chadyo.
daku : chal muthiya mar
manas : shu ????
daku : chal jldi muthiya mar nahitar goli mari daish.
sajjan manas dari gayo ane land hatha ma laine muthiya marva mandyo, thodivar ma pati gayu.
sajjan : have ??
daku : chal biji var muthiya mar..
manas pachho muthiya marva mandyo, thodivar ma pachhu puru thai gayo.
aam dasek var chalyu.
sajjan manas rota rota : bhaisaheb tame biju je kyo e badhu karish pan have muthiya marvanu n kahesho have mara ma jarak pan takat nathi rahi. !!!
daku : to thik chhe have vandho nahi , jo aa mari dikri chhe tene tari motar ma besadine saher sudhi lai ja .. !!!

unt

Ekvar amerikan sainay na keptan ni badli afghanistan na ran ma thai.
Te tya kemp ma aato marva niklyo. tya ek unt joyu. tene sainik ne puchhyu aa unt sena mate chhe.
saninik : saheb saher ahithi dur chhe, koi sainik ne chodvanu man thai to tena mate ame aa ne rakhyu chhe.

thoda divas pachhi keptan ne chodvanu man thayu tene sainik ne kahyu ke unt lavo
unt aavtaj tene unt ni pachhal tebal gothavyu ane mandyo chodva, addhi kalak pachhi te niche utryo ane kapda pehrata peharata tene sinik ne puchhyu : kem tame loko  aam j chodo chho ne.
sainik : na saheb ame unt no upyog to matra saher java mate j karie chhie, sher jaine rand ne chodie chhie.

ADADHI VIAGRA

EK DOSHO DOKTAR PASE JAI NE KAHE ADDHI VIAGRA AAPO
DOKTAR : BAPA TAMANE ADADHI VIAGRA NI  KOI ASAR NA THAI.
DOSHO : ARE LODA TU MANE CHHE EVI MARE KAI JARUR NATHI PAN AA TO MUTARVA VAKHTE JARAK UBHU THAI TO PAG PAR MUTAR TO NO PADE.

SWAD

EK BHAI KHAVA BETHA TO KAHVA MA NANA NANA VAL AAVYA,
TE GUSSE THAYO ANE GHARVALI NE PUCHHYU.
ARE AA SHU CHHE EK VAR NIKLE TO BARABAR PAN AATO GHANA BADHA VAL CHHE.??
GHARAVALI KAHE ME EMA MARA SITHA KAPI NE NAKHYA CHHE.
PELO GUSSE THAI GAYO ANE KAHE CHODINI AMA SITHA NAKHAY.
PELI KAHE NA SHA MATE NAKHAY,  ROJ JAMVA BESO CHHO TO BOLO TO CHHO KE AAMA SITHA NO Y SWAD AAVTO NATHI. TO AAJE AAVI GAYO NE !!!!

7 VAGE

PATI : JO HU MAN PADE TYARE GHARE AAVISH, ANE MAN PADE TYARE JAMISH O.K.
PATNI : E BARABAR , PAN MANE ROJ 7 VAGE CHODVA JOSE PACHHI TAME HOV KE NA HOV O.K !!!

NISHAN CHUK

ek var ek sikari jangal ma sikar karva gayo. tene haran nu nishan lai ne goli chhodi pan te bachi gayu.
shikari : bhenchod nishan chukai gayu.!!
tya bajuma ek sadhu tap karta hata tene shikari ne galo bolvani na padi.
shikari  ek sasala nu nishan lai ne goli chhodi te pan bachi gayu.
shikari : madarchod nishan chuki gayu.!!
sadhu gusssama : ar tane kahyu ne ke galo nahi bol. (pachhi aakash ma hath uncha karine ) are o bhagvan tu aa shikari par golo fek ane aa papi no nash kari nakh.!!
thodivar ma  aakash mathi ek golo aavyo ane sadhu par padyo sadhu mari gyo
tya akash mathi aavaz avyo : eni ben ne chode hu y nishan chuki gyo !!!

TRAN KUTRA

EK VAR TRAN KUTRA PASHU  DAVAKHANE BHEGA THAI GAYA.
TRANE EK BIJANE AAVVANU KARAN PUCHHYU.
EK KUTRO : YAR MANE JYA TYA CHATVANI BAHU TEV CHHE ETLE MARO MALIK MARI JIBH KAPAVVA AAVYO CHHE !
BIJO KUTARO : YAR MANE BADHANE KARDVANI BAHU TEV CHHE ETLE MARO MALIK MARA DANT KADHAVVA AAVYO CHHE!
TRIJO KUTRO : YAR MANE CHODVANI BAHU TEV CHHE. KALE MARO MALIK KAIK LEVA VANKO VALYO ANE ME TENI GAND MARI LIDHI.
PELO KUTRO : ARRRRR TO TO TARO MALIK TARO LAND KAPAVVA AAVYO HASE ?
TRIJO KUTRO : NA RE.. MARO MALIK TO MARA NAKH KAPAVVA AAVYO CHHE ...!!!

VERAITY

GOLIYO GADHEDA NO,

PELIYO PADA NO,

BHOSH BHENSH NI,

LAND LION NO,

TATUDU TETAR NU,

SHITHA SHASHALA NA,

CHUT CHAKLI NI,

PIKO PAREVA NO,

ANE

GAND TAMARI J HO BHAI ...........!!!!!!!!!!!

MASTI

GABBARSINH : AA LAND MANE DAI DE THAKURRRRRRRR?
THAKUR : JAVA DE CHODINA , LAND NI MASTI NA HOI

BALATKAR NI FARIYAD

EK CHHOKARI BALATKAR NI FARIYAD LAKHAVA MATE POLICE STATION MA GAI
CHHOKARI : SAHEB EK CHHOKRA E  MARA BOBLA DABAVYA, BIJAE MARI BOBLA MODHAMA LIDHA, TRIJAE MARI GAND DABAVI, CHOTHAE MARO JANGIYO UTARYO, PANCHMAE E MARI CHUT MA AANGALI NAKHI , CHHATTHA E ...
POLICE : EK MINIT ... TU FARIYAD LAKHAVVA AAVI CHHO KE MARO LAND THAGAVVA...!!!???

POWERFULL GOLI

CHANDU DOKTAR PASE GAYO ANE VIAGRA MANGI
CHANDU : DOKTAR MANE KHUB POWER FULL GOLI AAPO MARE EK SATHE BE CHHOKARI NE CHODVANU CHHE
DOKTARE GOLI AAPI
BIJA DIVASE CHANDU DOKTARE PASE JAI NE DUKHAVA NI GOLI MANGI
DOKTAR : KEM ETLU BADHU CHODYU CHHE KE LUND DUKHVA MANDYO
CHANDU : LAND NAHI HATH DUKHE CHHE... CHOKARI O AAVIJ NAHI ?!!!

VARO

EK VAR CHANDU NEVY MA BHARATI THAYO
TYA JAI NE TENA KEPTAN NE KAHE SAHEB MANE CHODVANU MAN THAYU CHHE
KEPTAN : KOI VANDHO NAHI AHI AAPNE KHUB SARAS VYAVASTHA RAKHEL CHHE
EM KAHI NE TENE EK ROOM MA LAI GAYO
TYA EK BAREL HATU TEMA EK KANU HATU TYA GAD JEVU KAIK DEKHATU HATU
KEPTAN : JO AAMA NAKH LAND ANE MAND CHODVA
CHANDU TO TEMA LAND BHARAVI NE CHODVA MANDYO
CHANDU : SAHEB MAZZA AAVI GAI AHI TO ROZ AAVVA JEVU CHHE
KEPTAN : KOI VANDHO NAHI PAN BUDHVARE NAHI
CHANDU : KEM BUDHVAR NAHI SAHEB
KEPTAN : BUDHVARE BAREL MA REHVANO TARO VARO CHHE

SUVAVAD NO DUKHAVO

EKVAR CHANDU TENI PRAGENT WIFE NE LAI NE DILIVARY KARAVVA GAYO
DOCTOR : MARI PASE EVU MASHIN CHHE KE SUVAVAD NO DUKHAVO CHHOKARA NA BAP NE THAI
CHANDU : SAHEB HU MARI WIFE NE KHUBJ PREM KARU CHHU TAME TE MASHIN CHALU KARO
DOCTOR E  CHANDU NE KAHYU KE MASHIN NE 50 % PAR RAKHU CHHU JETHI 50 % DUKHAVO TAMANE THAI JO DUKHAVO VADHU LAGE TO KEJO JETHI OOCHU KARU .
CHANDU NE KOI DUKHAVO NA THAYO ETLE
DOKTAR E 100 % PAR MASHIN RAKHYU
CHANDU NI WIFE SHANTI THI CHHOKRA NE JANM AAPYO
BALAK NE LAI NE GHARE GAYA
BAHAR POSTMEN MARELO PADYO HATO. !!??!!

MAHENGAI

DHIRE SE DHOKO BHAI

MAHENGAI NO ZAMANA CHHE

6 INCH NO LAND

AKHI  ZINDGI CHALAVANO CHHE .....

KOI KAM NI NATHI

MALKIN : TANE KOI KAM KARTA NATHI AAVDTU.
NOKRANI : PAN CHODVAMA TAMARA KARATA SARI CHHU.
MALKIN : AAVU TANE KONE MALIK E KIDHU?
NOKRANI : NA DRIVER KAHETO HATO !!!

JANGIYO

WIFE TO HUSBAND : DEAR MARU SKIRT ETLU TUNKU CHHE KE MANE BIK CHHE KE VANKI VALISH ETLE MARO JANGIYO BADHANE DEKHASE.
PACHHI VANKI VALI NE TENA PATI NE PUCHHYU JOV TO MARO JANGIYO DEKHAY CHHE ?
PATI : BHENCHOD ... JANGIYO PEHRYO HOI TO DEKHAY NE.... ATYARE TO TARI GAND DEKHAY CHHE !!!

ADADHI RAT

CHHAGAN NE ADDHI RATE  GALA MA DUKHVA MANDYU.
 TENO AVAAZ BESI GAYO.
RATE TE DOCTOR NA GHARE GAYO ANE DARVAJO KHAKHADAVYO.
THODI VAR PACHHI DOCTOR NI SUNDAR WIFE AAAVI.
CHHAGAN DHIMETHI PUCHHYU : DOCTOR SAHEB CHHE ?
DOCTOR NI WIFE : DHIMETHI : NATHI ANDAR AAVTA RAHO TETO SAVARE J AAVSE.

CHINTA

meena : hamana to mare bahu dhyan rakhvu padee chhe. kyak pragent na thai jayu
tina : kem tara husband e to operation karavelu chhe ne ?
meena : etle j chinta rahe chhe.!!!

POLICE

EK SARDARJI EK CHHOKARI NE MOTOR MA CHODTA HATA
POLICE E AAVI NE PUCCHYU : SHU KARO CHHO ?
SARDARJI : CHHOKARI CHODU CHHU.
POLICE : SARU, PACHHI MARO VARO
SARDARJI : BARABAR ,  PAN MANE POLICE NE CHODVANO KOI  ANUBHAV NATHI.

KHATARO

ek manas wife ne laine bazar ma kharidi karava gayo
wife kharidi karva dukan ni andar gai ane pelo dukan ni bahar ubho.
tya ek rand aavi
rande manash ne puchhyu  : chodva aavvu chhe.
manas : shu bhav chhe.
rand : 100 rupiya
manas : 10 rupiya aapish. poshatu hoi to vat kar.
rand modhu bagadi chali gai.
thodivar pachhi pelo wife ni sathe rand bethi hati tyathi niklyo.
rand pelani wife ne joine kahe : joyu saheb 10 rupiya ma to aavo KHATARO j male

BAGICHO

ek bai ne bagicha ma shakbhaji ugadva no shokha hato 
tene bagicha ma tameta ugadya hata pan tameta barabar lal ugta nota
tene padoshi ne puchhu to padoshi e salah aapi.
padoshi : hu roj bagicha ma ek var muthiya maru chhu .


thoda divaso pachhi
padosi bai pase aavyo ane puchhyu ke tameta barabar thai chhe ke nahi ?
bai : ha hu pan roj ek var bagicha ma  muthiya maru chhu pan tameta to eva ne eva j uge chhe pan kakdi mast lambi ane moti thai gai ..!!

DOCTOR NA NIYAM

ekvar ek mota doktar nava doktar studento ne shikhdavta hata
doktar : mitro aaje hu tamane doctar thava mate na be niyam kahu chhu


niyam no 1 : tamare koi pan jatni sug no rakhvi 
em kahi ne tene teni angali table par padeli lash ni gand ma nakhi ane pachhi moma nakhi ne chati gayo ane badha j student ne em karva nu kahyu. badha heran thai gaya pan boss nu manvu to pade etle badhe kamane pan lash ni gand ma aangali nakhi ne chati , ghana ne ulti thai..


moto doktar e kidhu mitro niyam no 2 tamare darek chiz nu dhyan thi jovu , me pehli aangali lash ni gand ma nakhi hati ane mara modha ma biji aangali nakhi hati ...!!!!

SAMACHAR

ek bhai nu khubj gambhir accident thayo
gambhir iza o sathe tene hospital ma dakhl karvama aaavyo
bebhan thata pela tene doktar ne kahyu ke mara land ne bachavjo.
bija divse te bhan ma aavyo
doktar : young men tara mate ek sara samachar chhe ane ek kharab samachar chhe..
bhai : sara samachar shu chhe ?
doktar : ame tara land ne bachavi lidho chhe !
bhai : tamaro khub khub aaabhar , kharab samachar have kaho
doktar : land ne oshika niche rakhyo chhe !!

MOHARU

ek var ek hippi charch ni bas ma betho hato,
tene ek nan ne puchhyu chodva daish
nan kahe ame bhagavan ni strio chhie tena sivay koi nu nA manie
hippi nirash thai gayo bus na driver e tene kidhu ke
aa badhi nan rate charch ma prathna karva jai chhe tu bhagvan nu mahoru peri leje taro mel padi jase.
hippi bhagvan nu mohru peri lidhu ane rate charch ma gyo 
ek nan ne chodvanu puchhyu 
nan e ha padi pan tene aagal nahi pachchal karva nu kidhu
hippi e vicharu ke chodvanu no male to kai nahi gand mari lau aa nan j chhe ne
chodvanu puru karya pachhi hippi nachva mandyo
nan : kem nache chhe ?
hippi mahoru utari ne : hu hippi chhu bhagvan nathi
nan mohru utari ne : hu bus no driver chhu nan nathi..!!

UBHA UBHA

ekvar ek sardarji ane teni patni bane nahvani taiyari karta hata
achanak sardarji ne chodvanu man thayu
sardarji e tene barna pase ubhi rakhine chodava mandyo
sardarji ni wife o ma o ma kari ne rad padva mandi
sardarji ne em lagyu ke wife ne maja aave chhe etle teto vadhare jor thi chodva mandyo
thodi var pachhi sardarji chodvanu puru karyu
wife haji radu padti hati
sardarji wife ne kahe tane bahu maja aavi lage chhe haji rado pade chhe
wife : maja ni ben ne chode mari gand ma barana no nakucho ghusi gayo chhe te pehla kadh...!! 

hipopotemaS

hipopotemas pani ma kem chode chhe
evdo moto bhoshado palanvo kya !!

100 RUPIYA

chandu ne roj rand pase javani tev hati.. thoda varso pachhi tena lagna thaya
bija divse magan chandu ne puchhayu : kem chandu tari first night kevi rahi
chandu : yar chodvama to kai vandho no aavyo pan chodi lidha pachhi mari aadat mujab bhul thi wife ne 100 rupiya aapi didha
magan : ema shu vandho chhe e tari waife chhe ane paisha pan tara ghar ma j chhe.
chandu : are yar e vat nathi pan me 100 aapya to tene 50 pachha aapya ..!!!

CHHATRI REPAIR

ek chhokari chhatri riper karava gai
riper karva valo : upar nu kapdu hatavu padse ane saliya ne sidho kari ne andar nakhvo padse
chhokari : kai pan karo pan pani andar na javu joie !!

REACTION

ye ladki bhi ajib hoti hai
kuchh  kaho to muh fula leti hai
kuchh karo to pet fula leti hai !!

HATHI

ek chhokari doktar pase gai doktar mari chut to tapaso
doktar joi ne kahe are aatli moti kem thai gai
chhokari : mari par hathi e balatkar karyo chhe
doktar : pan hathi no land aatlo moto n hoi
chhokari : ha pan pela tene aangali kari hati !!!

SARI KE KHARAB

be mitro ek var rand pase gaya
ek bahar aavi ne kahe : aana karta to mari wife sari
bijo andar gao ne bhar aavine kahe : sachi vat chhe ana karta to tari wife sari !!

DIFFERENCE

gaynekologist ane piza dilivary boy vachhe shu fer chhe ?
bane sunghi sake chhe pan khai shakta nathi !!

VO

aati thi 
jati thi
hanshti thi
hanshati thi
dekhti thi
muskurati thi


aaj pata chala


sali chutiya banati thi...

SWAPNDOSH

rat khamosh hai 
chand madhosh hai
kho raha hosh hai
na tera dosh hai
na ushka dosh hai
jara underwear dekh
ye tera swapndosh hai...

SARDARJI

beti rasto joine ma ne kahe : mummy koi bavo aavto lage chhe
ma beti ne : andar aavti rahe teni danat kharab hoi chhe
beti : ma aa to koi sardarji lage chhe
ma beti ne : to beta bakari ne pan lai le !!!

AAVAJO

chodti vakhte nikalta juda juda aavajo
angrej : o yes o yes
amerikan : yes baby yes baby ya ya
indian : oi ma dukhe chhe
pakistan : aahista bhaijan ammi jag jaegi..

PAPA

karna hai agar tuje to kuchh aisha kar ja ke 
kisi bhi gali se tu gujare 
har ghar se ek hi aavaj nikale


papa aa gaye  papa aa gaye......

shiyalo, unalo

siyale shiro bhalo
unale thandi chhash
chomase chodvanu bhalu
muthiya baremas

AIDS

sachin ni suhagrat hati
anjali sachin ne : are tara land par AIDS lakhyu chhe
sachin : shanti rakh ubho thava de ADIDAS lakhu chhe

chaniyo

ek bhabhi darji ne : o darji tame to maro chaniyo bagadyo
darji : bhabhi ubha ubha karavo to bagde j ne !!!

UDTI JULFO

tari udti julfo ne kabu ma to rakh
ketla divas thiya vagharan have to tel nakh
tara udta frok ne kabu ma to rakh
jangiyo na pero to kai nahi jata to kapo.

SHOLEY



sholey ma thakur saheb ni bahu sha mate aakho divas udas rehti hati.
karan ke thakur saheb ne hath nota ane teni gand bahu e dhovi padti hati.

ane thakur saheb kem udas rehta hata
karanke teni wige hati nahi ane hath pan na hota tethi muthiya na mari shakta hata

GABBAR

RAMU DODTO THAKUR SAB NA RUM MA GAYO
RAMU : THAKUR SAHEB GABBAR E BAHU NI IZZAT LUTI LIDHI.
THAKUR SAB : TO EMA HU SHU KARU.
RAMU : NAHI BAHU EM PUCHHAVE CHHE KE GABBAR PASE BADALO LEVO CHHE KE PEMENT.

TYPE WRIGHTER


CHANDU NE CHODVANU MAN THAYU
GHAR MA BADHA HATA TETHI TENE CHHOKARA GATTU NE KAHYU
BETA MUMMY NE KAHE KE  PAPA NE LATTER LAKHVO CHHE TYPE RITER  PAR
GATTU NI MUMMY : BETA PAPA NE KE ATYARE LAL RIBIN CHHE TYPE PACHHI KARE.
THODA DIVSO PACHHI GATTU NI MUMMY: BETA HAVE PAPA NE KAHE TYPER RIGHTER TYAR CHHE
CHANDU : BETA MUMMY NE KE LATTER LAKHAVO JARURI HATO HATHE LAKHI NAKHYO.

MURGHI


ek var chandu murghi leva gayo.
chandu : aa murghi ketlama aapi
murghi valo : 100, 50 ane aa 10 ma,
chandu : aana 10 rupiya aatli sasti kem
murghi valo : ene AIDS chhe atle
chandu : mane e j aap mare murghi ne khavi chhe GAND thodi maravi chhe.

KHARAB JOB



DUNIYA MA SAUTHI KHARAB JOB KAI
GYNOKOLOGIST NI
KAI RITE
AAKHI DUNIYA JYA MAJA KARE CHHE TYA E CHODU PROBLEM GOTE CHHE.