DEEWAR

DEEWAR 2011 NO EK DIALOG


AMITABH : AAJE MARI PASE PAISHO CHHE, GADI CHHE, BANGLO CHHE, NOKAR CHAKAR CHHE TARI PASE SHU CHHE ?

SHASHI : MARI PASE PAN PAISHA CHHE GADI BANGLO ANE NOKAR CHHAKAR  CHHE.

AMITABH : TO LODA AAPNI MA KONI PASE CHHE. !!!

GRUH PRAVESH

SUHAGRATE PATI SARI RITE KAM KARI NA SHAKYO...

BIJA DIVSE SAVARE

NANAND NAVI BHABHI  NE : BHABHI KALE SUHAGRAT KEVI GAI..

BHABHI :  " GRAH PRAVESH " TO THAI GAYO PARANTU  " GRAH SHANTI " NATHI THAI.. 

KUKDO

JYARE EK KUKDO KUKDI PAR RAPE KARVANI KOSHISH KARE TYARE KUKDI SU KAHE ?? 
FUCK FUCK FUCKKAK FUCKKKAAAKKKKKKK

MAN AND WOMAN

SUCESSFUL MAN NI PACHHAN EK WOMAN HOI CHHE.

PARANTU

SATISFIED WOMAN NI PACHHAN THAKELO MAN  HOI CHHE.

AKABAR WAS GAY

MARA VARSO NA SANSODHAN PACHHI NU RESULT CHHE KE

AKABAR CHHAKKO (GAY) HATO.

KEVI RITE... TAME SAMBHLYU J HASE KE ..

LAILA - MAJNU

HIR --RANJA

DHOLA ---MARU

MERU --- MALAN

PAN ONLY ONE

AKBAR ---BIRBAL

ANGREJ

EK ANGREJ GUJRATI SIKHVA GUJARAT AAVYO. 15 DIVS TE KOI NANA GAMDA MA RAHYO.

AAKHRE TENE BE VAKYO SIKHI LIDHA..

1 > HASHH LIGHT AAVI GAYII...

2> BHOSDINI PACHI VAI GAI....

JAKAT

CHANDU NE EK GAM MA PAISHA NI UGHARANI MATE JAVA NU THAYU.

GAM MA JAVANO EK MATRA RASTO EK KHETAR MA HATO. TENE KOIKE KAHYU KE TE KHETAR EK GUNDA NU CHHE. ANE TE TYA THI PASAR THATI BADHI CHHOKRI NE CHODI NE PACHHI J JAVA DE CHHE ANE CHHOKRAV HOI TO GAND MARE CHHE. NAHITAR KOI NE KHETAR MATHI PASAR NA THAVA DE.

CHANDU KAHE KE UGHARANI TO LEVI J PADSE ANE TENE MATE GAM MA JVAA MATE MUNNA GUNDA PASE TO JAVU J PADSE.  KAIK TO KARVU PADSE.

CHANDU TO KAIK VICHARINE KHETAR MATHI CHALVA MANDYO. MUNNO TENE JOI GAYO.  BOLAVYO

MUNNO : OYE AHI AAV KYA JAI CHHE.
CHANDU : AA GAM MA MARI UGHRANI CHHE ETLE JAV CHHU.
MUNNO : E TO THIK PAN TANE KHABAR NATHI KE AHITHI NIKLTA BADHAE MANE JAKAT AAPVI PADE CHHE.
VANIYO : NA ! BOLO SHU KARU.
MUNNO : CHAL GAND MARVA DE..

CHANDU TO TYAR THAI GAYO. MUNNO GAND MARVA MANDYO.

CHANDU : MUNNA JI EK SHOT JOR THI PACHHO MARO TO..

MUNNO : KEM MAZA AAVI KE SHHU..

CHANDU : NA BAPU TAME JOR THI SHOT MARO NE,

MUNNA E KHUBJ JOR THI EK SHOT MARYO. PACHHI  MUNNA E CHANDU NE PUCHHYU. AA KAI KHABAR NA PADI TE JOR THI SHOT MARVANU KEM KAHYU..

CHANDU : E EMA EVU CHHE NE KE BAPU MARI EK AANKH THODI FANGI CHHE TAME JOR THI SHOT MARYO NE ETLE MARI AANKH SIDHI THAI GAI...

HAVE MUNNO VICHAR MA PADI GAYO ..

MUNNO NI TO BANNE AANKH FANGI HATI..

MUNNO : HAVE JO EK KAM KAR HAVE TU MARI GAND MAR

CHANDU : BAPU EVU TO HU THODU KARI SHAKU..

BAPU : LODA TANE KIDHU NE TU MAR..

CHANDU TO MUNNA NI GAND MARVA MANDYO .. MUNNA E TENE JOR THI SHOT MARVA KAHYU.. PARNTU MUNNA  NI EK PAN AANKH SIDHHI NA THAI..

CHANDU  : MUNNA BHAI  E ANKH SIDHI NAHI THAI .. JUOO TAMARU SHARIR ANE MARU SHARIR .. TAME EK KAM KARO TAMARA JEVA KOI HATTA KATTA PASE SHOT MARAVVO PADE..

MUNNO : HMMM EM TO KAI VANDHO NAHI..

MUNNA TE DIVAS THI JAKAT BADLAVI NAKHI .  LOKO NI GAND MARVANU BHULI GAYO ANE GAND MARAVVANU CHALU KARI DIDHU..

HAJI MUNNA  NI AANKH SIDHHI NATHI THAI...

INTERVIEW

CHANDU NE  OFFICE MA POTANE MATE PERSONAL ASSITANT JAROOR PADI. RINA INTERVIEW DEVA AAVI. CHADU E TENO BIODATA JOYA.

CHANDU RINA NE : TARI  BIJI KOI VISHESTHA...
RINA : SIR TYPING AAVDE CHHE.. SHORT HAND AAVDE CHHE.... NIYMIT MALA D KHAV CHHU... ANE FLAT MA EKLI RAHU CHHU...

RINA SELECT THAI GAI...

CHECK UP

EK CHOKRI DOCTOR CHANDU PASE CHEK UP KARAVVA GAI.

DOCTOR NI NIYAT KHARAB THAI .

DOCTOR E TENA BADHA J KAPDA UTRAVI NAKHYA.

DOCTOR TENA SHARIR PAR CHEK UP NA BAHANE CHHEDCHHAD KARVA MANDYO.

CHHOKRI : KISS KEM KARO CHHO SIR?

DOKTOR : CHEK UP MATE JAROORI CHHE..

CHHOKRI : BOOBLA KEM DABAVO CHHO..

DOCTOR : BREST CANCER NATHI TE CHECK KARU CHHU ETLE..

DOCTOR KHUB J UTSAH MA AAVI NE TENE CHODVA MANDYO..

CHHOKRI : AA SHU KARO CHHO...

DOCTOR : CHEK KARVU PADE ... AIDS MATE CHEK KARU CHHU.

CHHOKRI : TE EMA CHEK SHA MATE KARO CHHO . MANE AIDS J CHHE. HU AIDS NI J DAVA LEVA AAVI CHHU....

DOCTOR BEBHAN THAI NE PADI GAYO.......

KIDI

KIDI ........................ DAR MA

UDHAI ..................LAKDA MA

MADHMAKHI ..................MADHPUDA MA

ANE BHAMRO TAMARI ............



JO BHAI AME KAI NATHI KIDHU HO..... TAMNE J SOKH HOI TO AME SHU KARIE.....

SIKO ANE ......

AA SHAIRI E CHHOKRI O NE KE JE KOI PAN NA PYAR NO JAVAB NAHTI DETI.
TARA BAP PASE CHHE  .....EK RUPIYA NO SIKO..

TARA BAP PASE CHHE  .....EK RUPIYA NO SIKO..

TU SHU PAYAR KARSE ....   TARI MA NO PIKO...

PREGNENT

CHANDU PET MA DUKHAVO THAYO. DOCTOR PASE GAYO. DOCTORE BLOOD REPORT KADHAVAVA KIDHU.
LABORATORY MA CHANDU NO BLOOD REPORT EK PRAGNENT LADY NA REPORT SATHE ADLABADLI THAI GAYO.

REPORT LAINE DOCTOR PASE GAYO. DOCTOR REPORT JOINE CHANDU NE KAHE..

TAME PREGNENT CHHO...??!!!

TARAT J CHANDU , TENI PATNI NE GUSSMA : CHODINI HU TANE KETO TO NE KE MANE UPAR SUVA DE !!!!

CHAR CHHOKRI

ENGINEER GIRLS ANE ENGINEER BOYS NI VATO.....

CHAR ENGINEER CHHOKRIO EK VAR ROAD PAR UBHI UBHI LIFT NI RAH JOTI HATI.

EK ENGINEER THI BHARELI  CAR NIKLI.  BADHI CHHOKRIO TEMA BESI GAI. JAGYA NA HOVANE LIDHE TE BADHI BOYS NA KHOLA MA BESI GAI.

THODIVAR PACHHI....

CHHOKRI 1 : TU EC ENGINEER LAGE CHHE ?
CHHOKRO 1 : TANE KEM KHABAR PADI ?
CHHOKRI 1 : TARO TOWER MARA UNREACHABLE AREA MA JAVANI KOSHIS KARE CHHE  ETLE !!!

CHHOKRI 2 : TU COMP. ENGINEER LAGE CHHE ?
CHHOKRO 2 : TANE KEM KHABAR PADI ?
CHHOKRI 2 : TARI PEN DRIVE MARA USB PORT MA JAVANI TRY KARE CHHE ETLE !!!

CHHOKRI 3 : TU MECH. ENGINEER LAGE CHHE ?
CHHOKRO 3 : TANE KEM KHABAR PADI ?
CHHOKRI 3 : TARU PISTON MARA CYLINDAR MA JAVANI KOSHISH KARE CHHE ETLE !!!

CHHOKRI 4 : TU CIVIL ENGINEER LAGE CHHE ?
CHHOKRO 4 : TANE KEM KHABAAR PADI ?
CHHOKRI 4 : TARO DEM TUTI GAYO CHHE ANE MARA AAKHA GAM MA PANI BHARAI GAYU CHHE ETLE !!!!

NANO CAR

NANO CAR NA BE PROBLEM :

1 > CAR MA PREGNET LADY BASI SAKE NAHI.
2 > CAR MA LADY PREGNET THAI SAKE NAHI.

14 and 15

Teacher : AA Vakya ne Hindi bolo..

He Give me 14 and 15 rupess..

Rina Sharma ke  : Usne Muje CHODA or pandra rupiye diye.

Dosti sms

Dosti Bobla Nathi ke .........Dabai Jai.

Dosti Lund nathi Ke........Dhilo thai Jai

Dosti Gand nathi ke........Fati Jai.

Dosti to Chut CHhe mara dost ....Jem vapray tem Undi ne Undi Thati Jai....... Vah Vah Vah.......

Clean poem

Vo Soti rahi or me karta raha.............Intazar uske javab ka

Abhi to diya hathme or chhot gaya...........Ful Gulab Ka

Usne kaha Pichhe se nahi aage se karo .............Didar mere Husn-E-Sabab ka

Usne kaha bada maza aata he jab andar jata he.............Kano me ek ek lafz tere pyar ka

Pagal Beta

Chandu : Maro 5 vars no chhokro gando chhe. Tene mari Kamvali ne Pregnet Banvi didhi.
Magan : 5 vars no chhokro... Kevi rite....
Chandu : Tene mara badha condom ma kana padi didha....

Balti

Hum Unki Yad Me Itna Roye

Hum Unki Yad Me Itna Roye   Ke Ro Ro kar Balti Bhar Gai.

Vo Itni Bewfa Nikli Ki Vo Balti Leke Toilet Chali Gai....

NINDAR

CHANDU EK VAR KHUBJ VADHARE DARU PIDHOO..

RATE NIADAR MA JOR JOR THI RADO PADVA MANDYO..

MARO LODO KYA MARO LODO KYA ...

WIFE : MUNGA MARO NE MARA JANGIYA MATHI TAMARO HATH KADHOO.....

TIPU PANI

TIPU PANI JABRI VASTU CHHE DOSTO..

AKASH MATHI TAPKE TO VARSAD BANI JAI CHHE..

ANKH MATHI TAPKE TO AANSU BANI JAI CHHE...

ANE LAND MATHI TAPKE TO PARIVAR BANI JAI CHHE....

HATHI NI SUNDH

CHANDU NU EKVAR KHUB J KHARAB ACCIDENT THAYU.
ACCDENT NE LIDHE TENO LAND TUTI GAYO.
DOCTOR E HATHI NI SUNDH NAKHI DIDHI.
CHANDU NE SARU THAI GAYU ANE TETO OJTHI GAHRE GAYO.

EK MAHINA PACHHI DOCTORE TENE CHEKUP KARVA BOLAVYO.
CHANDU POHLA POHLA PAG KARTO AAVYO.
DOKTOR : KEM BHAI AAM KEM POHLA PAG KARI NE CHALE CHHE. MAZAMA TO CHHO NE.
CHANDU : HA SAHEB AAM TO KAI VANDHO NATHI PAN JAYARE PAN KELA NI REKDI JOE CHHE TO TE KELA NI LUM AAKHI KHAVA MATE UPADI NE KHAVA MATE MARI GAND MA NAKHI DE CHHE....

GOLIYA

EK VAR CHANDU NA BAPA NE GOLIYA MA DUKHAVO THAYO.
DOCTOR: DADAJI AA BANEE GOLIYA KADHI NAKHVA PADSE.
CHANDU NA BAPA : BETA KADHI NAKH BANDOK TO HAVE CHALTI NATHI TO PACHHI GOLI NU SHU KAM ....

PANDADU

EK VAR CHANDU NE TENI WIFE EK ART GALLERY MA FARVA GYA.
TYA EK PICTURE HATU JEMA EK CHHOKRI MATRA PANDADA NI ADASH MA NAGI UBHI HATI .
CHANDU TENE DHYAN THI JOTO HATO.
WIFE : HAVE GHARE CHALSO KE PAVAN AAVE ANE AA PANDDU HATE TENI RAH JOSHO..

FATELA HOTH

RINA NA HOTH FATI GAYA.
DOCTOR : HOTH KEM KARATA FATI GAYA.
RINA : HU MA BOYFRIEND NE KISS KARTI HATI. TYA TENO DARVAJO KOIKE KHOLYO ANE TENE GABHARAI NE ..........



PENT NI CHAIN BANDH KARI DIDHHI....

HICHKI

CHANDU NE HICHAKI AAVI SATHE LAND PAN UBHO THYO.
CHANDU ; LAGE CHHE KE DOST NI SATHE SATHE BHABHI E PAN YD KARE CHHE.

JOSH

SHEELA KUVARI PREGNET THAI .DOCTOR PASE GAI.
DOCTOR TENE INJECTION MARTA HATA TYARE..
SHEELA : DOCTOR DHIME MANE DUKHE CHHE.
DOCTOR: JYARE CHODAVTI TI TYARE DUKHTU NOTU.
SHHELA : BHOSMARINA TYARE HU JOSH MA HATI HAOSH MA NAHI...

DOCTOR

EK VAR EK DOCTOR CHANDU NI PACHHAN BHAGTO HATO.
EK BHAI E TENE ROKYO .
SAHEB KEM TENI PACHHAN DODO CHHO.
DOCTOR : AA CHOTHI VAR CHHE CHODINO NASBANDHI KARAVA AAVE CHHE ANE SITHA KAPAVI NE BHAGI JAI CHHE.

JAMAI NA BHANA MA

CHANDU TENA SASRE GAYO.
TENI SASU E CHANDU NI THALI MA ROTLI PAR PANCH CHAMCHI GHHE NAKHYU.

PUCHHO KEM..

CHANDU NI SASU MANTI HATI K..

JETLU JAMAI NA BHANA MA TETLU  CHHOKRI NA KANA MA.....

TARI FAVOURITE

RINA CHANDU NE : TANE JAYARE MARI YAD AAVE CHHE TYARE TU SHU KARE CHHE.
CHANDU : HU TARI FAVOURITE VASTU ICECREEM KHAVU CHHU.
CHANDU : ANE JAYRE TANE MARI YAD AAVE CHHE TYARE TU MARI KAI FAVOURITE VASTU KARE CHHE.
RINA : HU MUTHIYA MARU CHHU.

NAVI BRA

TINA NAVI BRA LIDHI ANE TE COLLEGE MA BADHANE TOP UPAR KARINE DEKHADTI HATI .
GHARE AAVINE KABAT KHOLINE JOYU TO BEBHAN THAI GAI ...

KEMKE BRA TO KABAT MA J BHULAI GAI  HATI ...

BAPU NO CHHOKRO

BAPU NO CHHOKRO : BAPU MARO LODO AKHA CLASS MA MOTO CHHE .. AAPNE BAPU CHHIE ETLE NE !!!
BAPU : NA CHODINA TU 17 VARSH NO THAYO TOY 5 MA DHORAN MA BHANE CHHE ETLE !!!

AAVTO JANAM

TEACHER : BOLO CHHOKRAV TAME AAVTA JANAM MA SHU BANSO.
MEENA : CHAND
CHANDU : NEEL ARMSTRONG !!!!

PRAVACHAN

RAMDEVJI MAHARAJ PRAVACHAN AAPTA HATA.
RAMDEVJI : BHAIO POTANA THI MOTI NE MA SAMJO, BARABAR VALI NE BEHAN SAMJO ANE TAMARA THI NANI NE DIKRI SAMJO.
CHANDU : TO BAPU AA LODO TAME LAI LO !!!.... MARE KYA MARI GAND MA NAKHVO...

SAUTHI VADHARE DUKHAVO

TEACHER : bolo chhokrav sauthi vadhare dukhavo kayare thai
MEENA : CHHOKRA NA JANAM VAKHTE
CHANDU : MEDAM AA BHOSDINI E KAYARE Y GOLIYA UPAR LAT KHATHI NATHI NE ETLE ......

KISS

BOY : I WANT TO KISS YOU
GIRL : VERTICAL YA HORIZONTAL
BOY : WHAT IS VERTICAL YA HORIZONTAL
GIRL : AADI KE UBHI
BOY : ETLE
GIRL : BHOSDINA !! HOTH UPAR KE BHOSH UPAR !!!